theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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