So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize