dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
