She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Randomize