It's Friday. Sex?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
