Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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