i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
