He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Randomize
