I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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