Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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