That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize