Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Can Purell be used as lube?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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