Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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