It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
