Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
