put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
