Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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