I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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