You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
