I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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