Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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