I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
