Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
