I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize