Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
