no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
