You really coming over, don't trick.
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
He kissed a someone with a penis
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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