Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
