one might say we're banned from that church
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
