he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
