i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
