Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
