I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
