Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
