I only kidnapped one of them. chill
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
