3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Randomize
