I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Randomize
