There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
