is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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