I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
