yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
