Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
