Me. At least after what I've been through.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
