I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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