what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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