i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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