You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
