I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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