He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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