party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize
