That's intense
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
