Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
He has no idea heβs my boyfriend.
Randomize