I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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