I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
