SEEEEXXX PLEASE
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
