i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
