i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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