i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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