Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
